The Super Dudes... no, no, no, not the Super Dudes

.... fade in....

Becky Beaner: Well, whatever you call them, Champion City will forever owe a debt of gratitude to these mystery men.


The Sphinx: Wait! Wait, that's it. We are the Super Squad.


The Bowler: No, no! Alliteration in these situations is corny... What?


[She opens her bag, where Carmine sits smouldering]


The Bowler: Yes, we're all very aware that you saved the day. And I'm sure we'll be hearing about it for the rest of our lives.

... fade out...

Steve Kramer gave us another taste of his Heroes campaign last weekend.

The last time we saw our team of super heroes; Captain Awesome, Little/Big Dragon, Soundtrack, Shade, and the Blue Ninja, they were in a serious pickle.

A cornerstone of the World Crime League, Gold Mind, has captured and mind controlled the Freedom Force. The mascot of the Freedom Force, the Green Terror, recruited a rag tag group of lesser known (... alright, unknown) supers, in an attempt to rescue the FF. All was going well, until this new group was captured in what only can be called a botched dinner invitation... What shall we call them? Oh, that's right the loud one in the red unitard kept calling them Team Awesome!...

As we join this episode, Team Awesome confronted Gold Mind in the manor house of Gold Mind's floating island fortress, just as he was preparing to dine with a suspiciously complacent Freedom Force. Unable to control his desire for justice, Little Dragon attacked Gold Mind, only to provoke a response from the Freedom Force. The battle seemed hopeless, and after the Blue Ninja, to no effect, impaled Gold Mind's chest with a butter knife (he seemed to be wearing some type of armor, but at least the knife penetrated a good 4 inches), he stealthily retreated from the manor house and found refuge in a maintenance shed where he could recover.

Meanwhile, the rest of Team Awesome was captured. Captain Awesome, Soundtrack, and Little Dragon were separated from Shade. They sat in a plain cinder block room where they were met by Gold Mind (in a clean uniform, with no sign of the butter knife placed there an hour before) and Owl Man of the Freedom Force. Owl Man did all the talking and 'persuaded' the three members of Team Awesome to try and hunt down their missing member, the Blue Ninja. Little Dragon felt uneasy about this idea but was compelled to comply with Owl Man's request (obviously, they were all under some form of mind control).

In a nearby torture chamber, decorated to look like a gothic dungeon, Shade was chained to the wall, her costume ripped in all the appropriate places. Her actions were being monitored by the video camera trained on her from across the chamber. Owl Man and Gold Mind came through the wooden door to question her. Shade could hear an odd buzzing from the area on Gold Mind's chest where a butter knife was firmly imbedded. Playing the innocent damsel, heaving her chest for the appropriate dramatic impact, she assured Owl Man that she was an innocent in all of this, and would be more than willing to join their side if only she was released from her shackles. Owl Man and Gold Mind left her to supposedly ponder her offer (and perhaps the video footage of the shackled lass).

While all of this was going on, Blue Ninja was licking his wounds in a storage shed behind the manor house. While searching this shed, he found it to be connected to the house and the turret housing the island's particle weapon (Team Awesome was welcomed to the island by volleys of particle beam fire. Little Dragon exited the team's plane, transformed into Big Dragon (a real dragon as big as a semi truck) in order to rip the roof off of the gun turret and knock unconscious the henchmen operating the device).

Blue Ninja's goal was to scout the island undetected and look for some kind of advantage that would allow him to rescue his team. He decided to stealthily make his way to the turret in order to either level the device on the island's generator building, or create some kind of diversion. At the turret he found the particle beam to be an automated device with no ability to activate it locally. He then decided to exchange clothes with a henchman (Fritz) approximating his size and hide the henchman's body.

 While doing this he heard footsteps associated with a large guard patrol. Not wanting to be found, he grabbed Fritz and silently made his way further down the tunnel network to another out building, this one associated with landscaping. Here, to confuse the guards, led by the obviously mind controlled members of Team Awesome, Blue Ninja decided to dress Fritz back in his guard uniform, prop him in the garden tractor that he found in the shed, and and set the tractor in a straight line across the open ground of the island, while he silently back tracked through the tunnels to the manor house.

Soundtrack heard the tractor before the rest of the team. Awesome was next to spring into action by using his super bounding ability to reach the tractor before everyone else. Little Dragon transformed into Big Dragon and took to the sky. Unbeknownst to the others, Big Dragon had broken free of the mind control and took to the air in order to find a better way to help his friends. The commotion worked to Blue Ninja's advantage. He made his way back to the Manor House.

At the same time as all of this, Shade discovered that the Green Terror was captured in a nearby cell and for some reason was left with his utility belt left untouched. The Green Terror was able to pick the lock of his cell (for those that don't know, the Green Terror is a 15 year old boy with little to no powers to speak of, but a lot of sickening pluck and golly gee spirit), and make his way to Shade seemingly undetected. Knowing that she was still under surveillance, Shade continued to play her part. Convincing Green Terror to help her out of her shackles wasn't too hard, considering her sweat-stained and ripped costume, and the hormones of a 15 year old boy.

Blue Ninja entered the basement level of the manor house to find a lifeless Gold Mind standing rigid in the corner, butter knife protruding from his metallic chest. Yes, this Gold Mind was a robot. As he searched the lower level of the manor house, Blue Ninja found the dungeon that Shade was held captive in. He decided it was better to continue his search alone, rather than alert the power that be of his presence. As he made his way back to the room housing robot Gold Mind, he was surprised by a telekinetic blast from the real Gold Mind.

After some triumphant monologuing broadcast over the islands security network, Gold Mind looked ready to finish off the Blue Ninja. What Gold Mind didn't account for was Blue Ninja's speed. Before he could attack again, Blue Ninja was able to find any weakness in Gold Mind's defense and launch a projectile with enough force to stun the crime boss. That was all he needed, for his next attack knocked Gold Mind silly.

Green Terror managed to unlock one of shade's shackles and was working on the other when Owl Man burst through the door. Knowing the time for deception was over, Shade unleashed a telekinetic attack on Owl Man, throwing him against the wall. Owl Man was stunned. He had started to buy Shade's story and was coming to question her some more. He purposely left Green Terror with his utility belt in order to give Shade the appearance of freedom. Now the tables were turned.

Just as Shade stunned Owl Man, Blue Ninja made his way into the room and delivered the final blow that knocked out the turncoat super hero. Once Owl Man and Gold Mind were knocked out, the rest of Team Awesome was released from mind control. The team bound the two villains and locked them in the dungeon. They searched the building to find the rest of the Freedom Force being held in states of suspended animation.

Team Awesome proceeded to release FF, at which time Captain Awesome pushed his way in front of everyone else, proclaimed a significant victory for 'his' team, posed heroically, smiled in such a way as to evoke a sparkle from his pearly white teeth, and then bounded back to the jet for his ride home. The rest of Team Awesome shook their heads, said their goodbyes to the Freedom Force and walked leisurely back to the plane.

Thus ends this chapter in Steve Kramer's super hero campaign. His work being what it is right now, he doesn't have the umph to continue and write a new scenario for us, so in the meantime, his wife Lise, will start up our new Lost World campaign, using the same Hero rules. 

Team Awesome will, however, arise again...

- Posted from an undisclosed location using BlogPress from my iPad

Uncivil Service (First)

I've wanted to try this 'blogging' thing for a little while now. I've never thought my outlook on life to be unique or noteworthy, but I do enjoy sharing my thoughts with people, especially when they are somewhat coherent. Therefore, here I go. Over the next span of time that I decide to keep writing, I'll cover the most random shit that you'll ever want to read, and I thought I'd start off with a topic near and dear to my heart, civil service.

With the politicos in Washington pontificating about the merits of shutting down the Federal Government, I'd like to take a minute to talk about what that really means. The career civil service branch of the Federal Government accounts for approximately 13 percent of the total budget of the US, but in the popular press, government employees are seen as lecherous faceless bureaucrats, similar to the scene from the movie Beetlejuice, where civil servants are depicted as lifeless suicide victims.

The truth is that the average government employee is just like everyone else in this country. I entered Federal service as I graduated veterinary school. I was offered a job with USDA because I had an interest in population medicine and epidemiology, a branch of veterinary medicine suited for either public service or academia, therefore, my path was relatively clear. For others, the choice to become a Federal employee isn't that easy. Federal salaries for professional occupations are on average significantly lower than that of the private sector. The lure of Federal employ revolves around stability. You sacrifice a premium salary when times are good, for the promise of a good retirement, and job security when times are rocky.

What's my point? Well, I get frustrated listening to news reports that assign some type of privilege to the career civil servant. It is nothing more than smoke and mirrors to demonize a population that only accounts for less than 1/5 of the entire budget of the United States.

What benefits do we gain from civil servants? Our water, air, and land is cleaner than it would be if left to our own devices or greed. We are protected from financial predators. We have safe food, safe transportation, and a relatively healthy population. We are allowed to freely express our opinions and given the opportunity to succeed.

At any rate, I've rambled on long enough. I'll be back with an array of dick and fart jokes, talk about gaming, and recaps of our RPG adventures, but I thought I should start things off on a semi-serious note and rant a little, not at the 'man', but at the 'anti-man'.


- Posted from an undisclosed location using BlogPress from my iPad